Tuesday, June 12, 2012

ALL ABOUT MEN!!!

Those who know me describe me as pretty animated and full of life and well....sometimes hilarious.  But it is exhausting work, let me tell you.  Some funny things that go on in my life (lately it would be conversations with co-workers) are worth writing about though.  Wouldn't you just love to be a fly on the wall in my office or on my outside lunch hours?  But, I truly do (honestly!) have many times where I am quiet and observant and thinking about deep things inside my soul that only God knows.

The topic came up about how many love connections of marriage are made through RPC (Redeemer Pacific College) and I was totally amazed.  There are so many reasons why it is truly a special community just in general that you really have to visit for just one day to understand for yourself.  I was telling my teacher friend that I should have a column when our new swanky newsletter comes out like Maria's Love Corner?  I think it would be entertaining to read, don't you?  It got me thinking though of how much spiritual life is important to me in friends, both guys and gals and how that works into love.

I have to say that the story of my life (except for some very few examples) is normally one of unrequited love. I just so love a guy, but he never sees me in that way at all.  So, it would be disasterous and stupid to kill the friendship by taking a risk and telling the guy how I really feel?  Because then he looks at me weird and goes the other way.  End of story.  End of fairytale.  Or, there were guys that did see me that way, but I could never really imagine seeing them in that way back.  Not anyone's fault, just flattered but nothing there.  Sigh.

Anyhow....back to what was I saying?  I realized why hold things back if they entertain you, my readers or hey if they help you in some strange way. I used to think it was totally scary to be personal with strangers and friends alike on my blank internet page, but now I just don't care and there is freedom in honesty.  (Well, to a certain point.  I mean, I have to have some secrets after all....) But, you know, the truth will set you free and all.

Really in the end, why did I like the guys I do?  Yes, there was certainly some physical attraction, like a spark that cannot be explained or contained or planned and great if it was mutual!  And there was plenty of fun and good times and interests and other things we had in common.  And there was a certain type.  Hmmm, maybe tall, dark-haired and perfectly handsome or even short and cute and boyishly charming. But, there has to be something deeper than this natural chemistry, otherwise there is nothing at all there that is stable and real and worth growing into the most wonderful and loving relationship that could possibly ever be.

I think most girls are attracted to the bad boy type.  Unfortunately. But, really, the one that wins our heart in the end is the one that is the good sweet boy; kind, caring, listening, comforting, helping, loving, giving.   They exist.  I have seen them with my own eyes.  They are out there girls!  And we also DO secretly want the ending of Wedding Singer to be our own.  You know, the greatest song of all time that makes me laugh and cry even if I watch that stupid movie 100 times.  Stupid kleenex box.  Stupid song.

If I had to mention the MOST attractive qualities that nice Christian woman look for in a man, it would have to be his faith and his convictions. Well, and how he treats you! Actions usually do speak louder than words and he must show it and not just tell you that you are the most wonderful amazing gorgeous woman in the entire universe.  Yeah, there are others that are attractive and all, but only you have the ability to capture his attention like no other.  And there is something so powerful and awesome about a man who is strong in his beliefs no matter what and confident enough to know what he wants in life.  I don't mean arrogance.  I mean he knows and loves truth and would defend it and YOU to his last breath.  A man that loves his faith is a real man that has respect for women, unlike many so called men out there at the present time of this writing.

If mutual faith and morals and spiritual goals are not there, there is not too much I can say about that.  I like to think of it as a husband and wife should inspire each other to holiness, to greatness, and help each other get to heaven.  Not sure where I got that from, so don't ever quote my actual words.  That is the heart of the mission. That is where happiness lives and grows and doesn't give the word "committment" a bad name. I didn't have much in terms of good marriage role models around me growing up, but I really do now.  I guess I count that as a blessing in this stage of my life. Don't just settle for anyone. Your heart is just too important.

If you are still reading this long post, my hats off to you. That means you may just be as crazy as I am!  But, a good crazy.  I should never be ashamed of my personality and try to be someone I am not and I love being a crazy Italian that has come alive in my faith again and again and again.  What you see is what you get, I would like to add. I think that is important in a relationship. I used to look at nice proper quiet girls and think that I am not like that so I don't think any guy will like me for who I am and love me for me.  I am me and every woman out there should grow into the way that God wanted them to be; just themselves.  Same goes for the men.  Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so don't think it's all about the outside physical appearance (or the money, or the job or what you drive!)

We will love you for who you are inside and your heart of gold and your loyalty and your faith no matter what changes on the outside.  Because it's truly what's inside that counts.  Now I am going to bed; that was enough. And goodnight!