"Nobody's Home..."

Today, for some wierd reason, I have that Avril song in my head.  I haven't heard it in a while, but as I watched the video, I actually felt that now more than ever, I was the girl in the video.  Years ago when it was one of my favorite songs, I felt like the girl in the video was just another nobody to me.  Sad and tragic and lonely, but I would never feel as low as she did.  And did I even care?  No, I just went about my business in my own little world. Now, I can relate to this imaginary girl more than I can relate to anyone I know.  And how about anyone else that feel like her or even worse. Not the ones with the perfect life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FG1gNIxMqs

Nobody's Home lyrics
Songwriters: Gilmore, Don; Lavigne, Avril; Moody, Ben;

Well, I couldn't tell you
Why she felt that way
She felt it every day

And I couldn't help her
I just watched her make
The same mistakes again

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Open your eyes
And look outside
Find the reasons why

You've been rejected
And now you can't find
What you've left behind

Be strong, be strong now
Too many, too many problems
Don't know where she belongs
Where she belongs

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

Her feelings she hides
Her dreams she can't find
She's losing her mind
She's falling behind

She can't find her place
She's losing her faith
She's falling from grace
She's all over the place, yeah

She wants to go home
But nobody's home
That's where she lies
Broken inside

With no place to go
No place to go
To dry her eyes
Broken inside

She's lost inside, lost inside
She's lost inside, lost inside

This post is just a medley of different emotions and feelings.  Please DO NOT read if you have the perfect life with everything you have ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter.  This is not for you as I will never be able to relate to you.  I used to wish so bad I was you, but that is not reality. 

This is ONLY for people who have never felt like they had a home, or people that understand them, or friends and family around them that love them no matter what, or feel abandoned or rejected or hurt.  This is for people that have suffered job losses, deaths in the family, health issues, no stable home, no stable job, been unjustly treated by most people, judged for what they wear or look like, made fun of, no one they can go to for help.  Hunger, lonliness, despair.  Nothing to look forward to.  No house with the white picket fence or no house at all.  No kids even though they would give up their own life to have them.  No stability in life and living only one day at a time.  No great high-paying job with stability for their family.  No health or feeling like they live in a third world country because of poor health care.  No mom or no dad.  No family alive.  Abuse or disfunction or addictions.  No food.  No money. Anything really that you don't even want people to know about.

It is one thing to go through problems constantly without a break it seems, 24/7, but it is another thing altogether when you feel completely on your own trying to deal with them.  Maybe they don't get better and it has been days, weeks, months or even years.  Maybe no matter what you do or how hard you try, nothing seems to go right.  Maybe you are rejected and abandoned from those you love because you are always in some kind of trouble and they will never understand that.  They need the perfect you and there is none.  You stop trying to live because there is nothing good about life and maybe you want the pain to go away.  Forever.

It is lonely when people nag and lecture and judge and criticize and blame and put guilt on you.  It is the hardest thing in the world.  That is the stuff that puts people over the edge and that is the stuff that makes people give up. It's easy to give up, even when you are living the right way, following God, going to church, not doing any harm to anyone.  Maybe you see no light at the end of the tunnel and no hope in sight.

I see light in my dark only now.  I see little ways how God is taking care of us and not abandoning us.  I remember the good things that God has done for me in the past.  It could be an unexpected surprise, a smile or joke or kind word, loving actions from people that care. It could be a job after months of searching, or a nice boss and co-workers that appreciate you.  It comes in many ways.  Small ways and big ways.  I had taken so many things for granted that I don't anymore.  I have learnt so much that I never want to take anything for granted.  I am sure that in whatever way, many can relate to this passage.

"What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds." Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.".

I have to say that it is all about the love in your heart and soul.  Even Jesus and the entire bible is full of passages about loving one another, practicing what you preach by word and deed, not judging someone else when you are even worse, etc. This one is one of the most popular passages by far:

Mt. 25:31-46. "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with Him, then He will sit on His glorious throne. And all the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them from one another, as the shepherd separates the sheep from the goats; He will put the sheep on His right, and the goats on His left. 

Then the King will say to those on His right, 'Come, you who are blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. For I was hungry, and you gave Me something to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger, and you invited Me in; naked, and you clothed Me; I was sick, and you visited Me; I was in prison, and you came to Me.' 

Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, and feed You, or thirsty, and give You drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and invite you in, or naked, and clothe You? And when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'  And the King will answer and say to them, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did it to one of these brothers of Mine, even the least of them, you did it to Me.' 


Then He will also say to those on His left, 'Depart from Me, accursed ones, into the eternal fire which has been prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me.' 

Then they themselves will also answer, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not take care of You?' Then He will answer them, saying, 'Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.' And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life."

In the end, God is the one that judges and he is the ONLY one that can.  Thank goodness for that.  When we stand before him, he won't care about our excuses.  We can't try to outsmart God.  Or whatever it is that you believe, it is pretty basic that you should try to be a moral person and love and respect others.  That is what makes God happy.

Jer. 22:16 "Did not your father eat and drink, and do justice and righteousness? Then it was well with him. He pled the cause of the afflicted and needy; then it was well. Is that not what it means to know Me?" declares the LORD.

God wants us to be with him because he loves us.  He loves EVERYONE.  Not just those that have it all together and not just those that don't. That is why I love my God and that is why I want to at least try to love others.  He loved us first, without us having to do anything to deserve it. That is why I go to church basically; that is why I believe what I do.  To be with God and to be with others. Moving ahead, I am trying to forgive those that have caused us the greatest pain and pray for them.  I believe with everything in my being that sometimes God loves an honest heart and deep cries of despair better than an empty Hallelujah....

http://www.lhj.com/lhj/file.jsp?item=/video/betterthanahallelujah&temp=yes


Anyhow, as for me, I will keep trying to praise him in the storms of life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0i5MzJ9nLjo&feature=related


And remember, he will NEVER LET GO of you:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SIAdgLR1ZGw