C.S. Lewis wrote: "There are far, far better things ahead than any we leave behind." That is really proving to be true in my life in the last few years. Sometimes we resist the change of life moving us forward and we find it so hard to let go of certain things. They could be good things or bad things or both. Like relationships, homes, jobs, schools, friends. For example, moving to another place, which is only 3 sleeps away for me. Even though it's a good change and super close to my current place, it's still hard to step into the unknown. There are things I liked about my place and my landlords, but ultimately I'm making a good decision that fell into place for all the right reasons.
It made me think about the last 2 years and coming back to Langley, BC (home for me.) I had another job before my current one that I thought would be my ultimate dream job: Assistant Manager at a big Music & Dance studio. Wonderful turned into a nightmare pretty fast when it was clear that I would be doing no assistant managing and I was in a work environment where many of the people I worked with seemed to hate their job with a passion. I felt so trapped and so disillusioned. I truly felt that it was the most perfect job for me and the best fit, and time and soul searching proved the opposite.
By a "random" happening and right after some horrible work situations, I came across the job posting for my current job. (I have many job titles, but I am officially the Executive Assistant for a Catholic college, which is part of a large Protestant University.) I didn't know what I was in for until I actually started there (haha), but I soon realized that this was actually the dream job in the environment that I had wanted to be in my whole entire life. All my work experiences, even the very worst ones, had truly prepared me for this job. I love it so much, that it would be hard for someone to grasp that has never been to the college. We work hard, we play hard, we pray hard. It is awesome. That is FAR better than anything that I had to give up. Like being rich or famous. Ah, no. Being happy is a far better thing than what I left behind.
It also makes me think about moving. I am so good at moving, that right now I am sitting here typing while it looks like to the untrained eye that I have not really been packing. I do my best work under pressure, so it's all good. That's all I will say about that. This is my 5th move in the last 2 years and I'm a pro at living out of suitcases, till just a while ago. Some people don't get my life. They will never understand all the reasons I have not had a chance to have much stability and they will probably judge me because they have had the same career their whole life or lived in the same place forever or have been married with kids for a while now. It doesn't bother me whatsoever, but being ok with myself and not being so hard on myself took alot of time. Some people take a while to get to the place they are meant to be at, or with the person they are meant to be with. That's just life. Plus for some reason, even though I like stability and things staying consistent, I equally like change in a weird way. Like fresh starts over and over. Well, it's true. Gotta look on the bright side.
Every place I moved to though in the past 2 years did get better and better. What started off as jumping on a greyhound bus from Manitoba (Canada) with just 2 suitcases and my guitar slowly progressed to where I am right now. It took so many ups and downs (mostly downs) and I never thought I would see any hope in some pretty dire situations. It was hard to leave everything behind and not even know what the next day would hold. But it proved to be one of the best decisions I had ever made. Time, God, family, old friends, new friends etc. etc. helped to grow me into the person that has been through things and lived to tell about them. Things were so bad before I moved back, but I was resisting everything that was pretty much pushing me out of that town. I tried to make it all work in about a million different ways. But we can only control our lives sometimes as much as we can control a rainy windstorm in BC (like today.)
I cannot even comprehend what my life would be like right now if I had resisted the many changes that happened in these 2 years. Even when bad things happened, good things did follow after. Like it always does. Well, back to packing. Or not....